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Ask A GuyFriend Blog

We had sex, where’s the passion now?

The feelings are mutual, he gives you the passion and sensations you never felt before. Life is amazing, you're on a high emotionally. Nothing seems to compare to how you feel.

Then you finally have sex!

A few weeks later you sense a shift. You notice a distant approach compared to the up close and personal passionate man you first meet.

The answer is simply two things. Your evaluation period meshed with his intentions. Most men don’t share there full intentions upfront. Believe it or not a lot of men are timid at times in their transparency which exposes there feelings or actual desires due to rejection or embarrassment. This insecurity is masked by a masculine or strong personality that attracted you in the first place. Keep in mind the “passion“ that you enjoyed so much, in the beginning, has this tendency to cloud judgment in your evaluation period. This is vital in the checklist that you created (which I will talk about next week).

On the same token, there are some instances, he is completely upfront with what he is looking for. You still decided to take advantage of the feelings he provided knowing it may not be the best thing for you.

At the end of the day, men and women are all somewhat selfish and greedy at different points of our lives, especially when it comes to doing what is good for us emotionally, nothing wrong with that. Understand as a woman you must evolve how you been doing things the last few years. Question why the same cycle seems to happen to you. Not removing blame from men at all, but after a while it just seems to revolve around you. I’m touching on accountability to set a new standard for yourself.

So I share and encourage you to make a shift in everything thing you do. You will see a shift in the type of men you will attract. Remember this “ A bee 🐝 won’t fly to a flower that doesn’t provide what it needs” in other words You want change? You change. Your criteria for a suitable man must evolve with you.

Granted there are creeps out there, at the same time control what you can control. You can control how much you expose emotionally, as well as physically. Give men a reason to expose who they are before they get what they want out of the relationship so you can make an informed decision about what’s good for you. We need you more then you think and the right one will wait it out to earn all of you!

Let's keep it 💯 tho, if you just want to have fun, remember fun is not held to a standard to last forever. Learn expectations and allow yourself to be sold internally by your new criteria before you make your decisions. Passion can be controlled, which will eventually limit the risk of abandonment.


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